There are a lot of assumptions/expectations about what collaboration, communication, and teamwork means.
This needs to be clearer because assumptions/expectations are underworld weapons that block intimacy and collaboration.
For responsible intimacy negotiation to happen in any group, each individual gets clear first on what they want with another team member, and takes responsibility for asking for this to happen, and negotiate (with yes, and). This happens on an individual level, especially as more projects start happening. Meaning that if there is a project going on and I want to know some info about it, I am the one taking responsibility to ask for it, it is not assumed that whoever is in the project is going to be serving out information.
For this to happen, emotional reactivity and unconscious gremlin needs to be dealt with. If you have a emotional reactivity about how intimacy is happening, taking responsibility in a team means to please ask for an EHP with someone experienced, or for mediation, and after that negotiate what you actually want from your real interest in collaboration and not from your reaction.
Different Archetypal Lineages with different 'interests' are collaborating. This causes conflict. This is appropriate. Conflict is opportunity for intimacy/collaboration.
Saying what you want is vulnerable and also an opportunity for intimacy/collaboration.
Every person has Parts. Each time you say what you want you have a chance to reflect on which 'you' is doing the wanting.
Each time you dare to say what you want, you get feedback. The feedback comes in the form of how different people respond to what you say.
- Some people say, "Yes."
- Some people say, "Yes, and..."
- Some people say, "No."
- Some people say, "No, and..."
- Some people are too afraid to actually say anything. Be careful not to assume that whatever fear is stopping them from saying anything is a fear about what you want. It could simply be their fear of saying what they want about what you want.
And all the while, you can stay in the clearing of knowing that the answers you receive from other people are coming directly out of their various Parts.
Are they aware of which Part is speaking through them at that moment?
In all of this potential mess, it is truly a glimpse of clarity if you Consistently Practice saying what you want, without expecting that you will get what you want simply because you are clear about what you want.
There are always new Possibilities that might be offered to you that provide you with something that you might want even more than what you originally were aware of and spoke out about what you want.
This is what makes Collaborative Negotiating such a worthwhile and precious and rewarding set of skills to bring to life in your Teams and relationships. Collaborative Negotiating calls forth so much more of the full potential of group intelligence and energy.
Fresh, unexpected, previously invisible Nonlinear and Unreasonable Possibilities pour abundantly into view through calling forth the conscious use of each person's Gremlin to simultaneously meet all of the wants and needs of everyone involved. Having this AND that is so much more rewarding than the maintaining the scarcity view of negotiating to have this OR that.
Collaborative Negotiating releases group creation power so that you do not have to starve any of your 5 Bodies!
Ongoing collaborative intimacy is indeed High Level Fun!
Clearing up Resentment and cleaning up the Poop On The Table can be the start of a very fine day. Do it regularly.